Secrets & Broken Promises: My Love Confession

Warning: This story is for mature audiences and contains sexual content that may not be appropriate for some readers.

BY ANONYMOUS

I had barely turned 18 when I met him. I still remember how he took my breath away when I looked at him. I remember that day clear as day. My friends and I had gone to the carnival in town and met a group of guys. He was the hottest and tallest one in the group. He had a soft-spoken voice and seemed shy at first but eventually opened up.

We quickly grew on each other and formed a bond. Then, as it got deeper into the night, we wandered off from our group and explored the carnival together. We talked and got to know one another better as we went on rides and probed through the venue.

It was late, and everyone was starting to leave. He asked how I was getting home, and I replied that I would head back with my girls. He wondered if it would be okay if he took me home instead. Without hesitation, I told him yeah.

During the car ride home, I purposely gave him the wrong direction, and we ended up lost in a neighborhood I wasn’t familiar with. Finally, he caught on and asked why I had given him the wrong direction. I told him it was because I didn’t want the night to end and wanted to spend more time with him. To my surprise, he also felt the same way and asked me if I knew of places with a nice view, to which I answered yes.

Thanks to his excellent memory, we were able to find our way out of the neighborhood, and I led him to a peak nearby so we could both go stargazing.

When we got there, we were the only people there. It was dark, and I was a bit scared, so I asked him if we could stay in the car. He didn’t mind and noticed that I was a bit cold, so he took off his oversized sweater and placed it over my body. Upon receiving his sweater, I reached over to him and hugged him. He embraced me back, and it just felt so good being in his arms. One thing led to another, and at the end of the night, I ended up sitting on top of him, and we were making out. Don’t worry; we didn’t have sex. We were only making out.

Eventually, the night ended, and he dropped me off at home. We exchanged phone numbers, and I kissed him on the cheek before heading inside. We promised to stay in touch and hang out as much as possible, so for the next two weeks, we saw each other almost every day until he had to leave home.

On his last night, we both arranged to revisit the peak to stargaze, but this time, we weren’t interested in the stars. Instead, we locked our eyes on each other because we both knew it would be the last time we would see each other for a while. I was lying on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, wishing he didn’t have to go. He was holding me in his arms and would periodically kiss my forehead from time to time.

After a moment passed, things got heated up, and our raw emotions got the best of us. His hand found its way underneath my dress and between my legs. My hands were underneath his shirt, holding and grabbing onto his back. We kissed endlessly, only pausing because I felt pleasure every time he rubbed me. My underwear became soaked as I lay there with my legs partially open for him to do as he pleased. I was a virgin; I didn’t know much about sex. All I knew was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, so I gave him one hundred percent of me.

The pain felt like a sharp cut as he pushed himself inside me. Upon sensing the pain, I held on to him as tight as possible. I didn’t know what to expect or what I was doing, but I trusted him with everything. I lay in the back of his car, biting my lips as hard as possible because I didn’t want him to see my pain. I wanted to make him feel special. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and was trying to prove it to him.

Eventually, the night ended, and we both had to say our goodbyes. I remember the painful walk back to my house. Every step I took meant that I was getting further away from him. Tears ran down my cheeks as he drove away in his car. Even though he was leaving, we promised each other we would stay in touch.

He eventually left back home, which was in a different state. However, we stayed in touch for a few months and frequently talked on the phone. That was until an incident where we both got mad at each other and ended up not communicating for about two months. He eventually called to apologize, but me being petty, acted like I didn’t care. So, whenever he called, I pretended I was busy and didn’t have time to talk to him. Which eventually led to him calling less and less. Don’t be mistaken; I still love him. I was just playing hard to get, but he didn’t get the message.

Eventually, he gave up and didn’t call me for a week. Wondering why he hadn’t called, I decided to make him jealous to see if I would get a reaction from him if he saw me with another guy. So, I purposely went out to the club with my girls, took a picture with a guy holding on to me, and shared it on Facebook. Even though we weren’t friends on Facebook, I knew he would see it because I purposely set the picture on public.

About a week after I posted the picture, he sent me a text saying that he was leaving forever and that I would never see him or be able to reach him. Upon receiving this text message, I became worried and tried to call him immediately, but it went straight to his voicemail. I called him every hour for the next few days, but it went straight to his voicemail. I was scared that he might have done something stupid, so I reached out to my friends who knew his friends and asked them if he was okay. His friend got back to me and informed me that he was fine but had X me out of his life forever.

Fast forward a few years, I met a new guy and fell deeply in love with him. We got married and have two kids together. One day, we both decided that we were going to go and visit his relatives in a different state so that they could meet our children and me. When we arrived, his uncle and aunt came and picked us up from the airport. The plan was to stay with them for a couple of days and then leave to stay with other relatives.

After staying with his uncle and aunt for about a week, we left to visit one of his cousins, who lived about thirty minutes away. When we arrived at their house, my husband called his cousin, who came to greet us. Upon seeing his cousin’s face, my heart dropped to the ground. It was him.

My heart was beating out of my chest as I looked at him again. He looked more mature and even better-looking than before. He didn’t notice me at first because after seeing him, I turned the other way to hide my face, but when we finally locked eyes, he paused momentarily in disbelief.

We both played it off like we didn’t know each other, as we stayed with him for a week. Surprisingly, he is still single and has never gotten married. When I asked my husband why he was single, my husband told me that a few years ago, a girl broke his heart, and he couldn’t get over it. He then told me a story of how his cousin was so heartbroken that after texting her for the last time, he threw his phone into a lake so she would never be able to reach him again. After hearing this story, I was heartbroken. I knew this story was about me, and I couldn’t stop feeling bad.

After staying at his house for a few days, we left for another relative’s place. Before we left, though, he came and hugged everybody. Then, when he got to me, he hugged me tightly. When his arms wrapped around me, old memories started to flash before my eyes, and I wanted to cry for some reason. Emotions that I thought were lost and gone erupted violently inside of me. It felt like that night when we were still young all over again.

As I walked to the car, my heart began to fill with pain. Everything started to feel like a dream. Walking felt the same as it did all those years ago. My heart was breaking with every step I took as I knew I was again getting further and further away from him.

After visiting my husband’s relatives, we eventually came back home. About two years later, my husband informed me that his cousin had finally married. Naturally, I was happy, but deep down inside, I was a little jealous. Not to sound selfish, but I wished that that girl would have been me. Why? Because I gave birth to a little boy nine months after we returned home. So you see, I have a secret.

When we were staying with him, my husband was always out drinking while I stayed behind to watch the kids. One night, while my husband was out, I went into his room while he was sleeping and woke him up. I wanted to talk to him about everything that happened so I could be at ease. Well, one thing led to another, and it turns out that he still loves me a lot. After that night, whenever my husband left the house, I would go into his room and get in bed with him. I know it was wrong, but I couldn’t control the emotions that I still have for him. I promised him I would keep this a secret, but I can’t anymore. Especially after he promised me, he would never get married and would wait for me till the end.

I know I am a terrible person, and trust me when I say I feel bad for my husband; I honestly do. I wish I could say for sure that my son is his child, but I can’t. I wish I could go back in time and undo everything to make it right. We should have left our little love story behind, but because we didn’t, we made each other’s life so much more complicated. Now, I must live with the fear that my husband might find out about us one day. So, if you’re reading this story, I want you to know that I wish you well. I wish you happiness and want only the best for you. You may have broken one of your promises, but I hope you don’t break the rest of them.

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